I am a perfectionist. Or rather a failed perfectionist as I am rubbish at everything. (That’s a joke…I know, it’s rubbish – like I said…)
Getting over a Fear of Failing
The problem with having perfectionist tendencies is that they can be very restrictive. Because if you can’t do something right, well sometimes it’s easier not to try.
So I have decided to just get better at failing. Because I want my kids to always have a go at things and not give up if it’s not right first time.
And this example of a recent fail also includes an actual fall.
This is the photo I posted while on a trip to Dubai to see friends in October.
Pretty nice photo, right? The one I didn’t post was this one…
This is the one where I tried going just that little bit further up the sand. And slid. And then the sand got into my shoes and burned my feet (newsflash: sand gets super hot in the desert at midday) and then I fell all the way down as my friends and family laughed at me.
And that’s not the worse bit. I also peed my pants.
Yep. A full wee in that thin, pale blue cotton dress. There was no stylin’ this one out. Thank god it was my friend driving us in her car…and she had leather (wipe clean!) seats.
Fear of Falling…
So that’s one of my other fears – falling. And sometimes running, coughing and sneezing. Because if this happens I will pee myself. It’s been going on for nearly a decade now, since the first of my big bonny babies was born (emphasis on ‘big’).
But do you know what? I am glad I fell. I am glad I wet myself. Because this was the final straw. And, despite being the most squeamish person in the world, I am now getting surgery to sort this out. This week in fact. Am I nervous about this? Absolutely. But fear has prevented me taking action on this for years (and yes I did do my kegels) and I’ve now come to the point where I can’t let that fear control me.
Being perfect is impossible. But not trying to do something because you’re scared you’ll fail makes your life so much smaller.
And our bodies aren’t perfect either – so we need to take care of them. If something isn’t right, get it checked and get some help. Admitting my embarrassing problem to you is not exactly easy – I have written and deleted this post many times – but how may other women are struggling with this and just don’t talk about it? If this helps just one other woman out there who panics if she has to run for the bus then I will be very happy!
So I am going to force myself to try and to accept failing as a means of progress.
I’ll leave you with this thought. Good old Confucius – he knew all about failing and falling. Here’s hoping the next time I fall, I manage to rise up drily…
An important footnote: when I talk about failing being good, this is not advice for my surgeon….I really need this procedure to succeed please!
10 Replies to “A Monday Minute: Failing and Falling”
My brave Becci! Having or conversation in mind last summer in Hamburg on the way home at 2am ..or so. I’m very proud of you and am sure all well be good.
You always look gorgeous. Big big hugs from Jakarta ❤
Yes, I remember that too…although vaguely!! Thank you so much, sending you lots of love back xxx
Wishing you all the best with your surgery this week. I too had 2 bonnie BIG babies. My biggest gripe is when I have just been for a wee, like JUST and yet immediately after a sneeze is still a bad idea. Someone told me your body holds back a little wee to stop your bladder sticking together like a swimming hat. What’s wrong with talcom powder? Can’t we evolve to prevent sticky bladders with talc instead? Design flaw mother nature ?????
Thanks so much Briony! I think the design worked better when before we evolved to walking on two legs! But ugh yes, always a bit of wee left in there, ready to embarrass you at the first cough/sneeze/giggle xx
Becci. This is a brave, exposing, funny and endearing post. Thank You for always keeping it real and wishing you a healthy recovery. Piss be damned!
Thank you so much my lovely! Looking forward to a dance off! xxx
I’ll be thinking about you this week, I know you’ll be happy when it’s all over – you’re much too young and beautiful to be putting up with bladder problems. Good luck!
Thank you Connie! X
Best of luck honey, so brave and yet you are able to amuse us all at the same time! Who doesn’t have bladder problems post children? I am fortunate only when I sneeze, I can still run! Wishing you a speedy recovery honey! Hugs xxxx
Thanks my lovely! I hoping after this that I can dance without fear of weeing!! Xx